The words inside you
by AnnaFIRTH
Summary: The fact that the New York, the city that never sleeps, is now in complete silence makes him calm down and enjoy the skyline from the living room window that from now on it isn't just like any other window in the loft, no. It's the window. POST 5x19 *Re-uploaded*


_**Post fanfic for LIFE OF OTHERS, aka Best Episode Ever.**_

* * *

"_**L**__ is for the way you look at me  
__**O**__ is for the only one I see  
__**V**__ is very, very extraordinary  
__**E**__ is even more than anyone that you adore" – Nat King Cole, L.O.V.E_

* * *

It's 4am when Rick Castle carefully removes his hands from his girlfriend's body and swings his legs over the edge of the bed, until his feet touch the floor. He then reaches for his pyjama pants and slips them on along with a white t-shirt he takes from the first drawer.

He wheels to the kitchen and prepares himself a steamy cup of Rooibos tea and also grabs two biscuits.

It's quiet and he loves it. The fact that the New York, the city that never sleeps, is now in complete silence makes him calm down and enjoy the skyline from the living room window that from now on it isn't just like any other window in the loft, no. It's the window. The place he has spent the last three days watching the guy from the in front building, and making up crazy theories about him murdering his girlfriend. He'd even crashed into the apartment to look for prove, anything to make Beckett believe he wasn't crazy, and that indeed there had been a murder.

He still couldn't get his mind through it. Kate Beckett, his girlfriend, had planned all this, with his family and her friends from the Precinct to keep him entertain, to keep him happy. But for Rick Castle it went far from that. Sure he was probably the happiest guy on the planet but for him it meant that Kate cared for him more than anyone had.

She had invested her free time to plan a fake murder for his birthday.

Wow. Unbelievable.

_What kind of girlfriend does that?_

"The best of girlfriends." He whispers to himself and he grabs the binoculars from the tea table, and stares at them for quite a long time.

She really had done it all for him.

He was used to people doing things for him; actually, when he was younger he was used to people doing _everything_ for him. He only had to write and everyone would do the hard work. Other times when he went out partying he always had girls throwing themselves at him and giving him the best so he noticed them. But that changed five years ago.

That changed when he met her. _Kate._

His partner-in-crime; his best friend and, now his beautiful girlfriend. They'd been through all the levels before getting together and he was grateful for that.

_Another first to his list of things done with Kate._

At first he'd thought she was just like any other tough good looking and attractive cop, '_like the ones on TV'- _he'd told his poker friends one night. Then he got to know her, her past and everything changed. Castle started to call her and check on her on the weekends, only to see if she was okay. He started _to care. _Something he hadn't really done before, except for Alexis and her mother, of course; but for other people a part from the ones he loved? No that, rarely happened.

He'd watched Kate cry, get beaten and smile; he loved to see her happy and alive. He'd almost died that day at Montgomery's funeral when she got shot in the chest. But as the tough woman she is, she made it as he waited for her, even if it hurt as hell. He waited because he cared and he loved her.

He loved Kate and he wasn't ashamed to tell the world.

_He loves her._

That's another first. He never thought a love like the one he felt for Kate could be real. Sure he had seen it in movies, and books, but if ten years ago someone had told him he would be so in love with an incredible woman he would have laughed.

But here he is, head over heels in love with Kate Beckett. His girlfriend that got him a murder for his birthday.

_Best present in the history of presents._

* * *

"Castle…" Her voice echoes through the living room, "What are you doing here?"

She had been watching him from the doorframe for a while.

"Hey," Castle moves the wheelchair to find Kate coming closer to him, "Sorry if I woke you."

"You didn't." Kate smiles as she strokes his soft and silky hair, "please tell me you're not spying your neighbours again…" Kate huffs squatting in front of him, her hand on his knee to not lose balance.

"No, I was just thinking."

"What about?" Kate asks tangling her fingers with his.

Castle takes a look at the apartment at the other side of the street, and then his eyes fly back to Kate, "You really got me the best present ever." Castle shyly smiles and squeezes her hand before bringing it to his lips and dropping a light and soft kiss on the back part, "How did you come up with this?"

Kate brings her eyes up to meet his again and blushes, "It was you actually."

Castle makes a I-don't-know-what-you're-talking-about face and lets Kate continue with the explanation, "The best thing to give a woman is something that she said she wanted when she thought you weren't listening. Ring any bells?"

"I said that."

"Remember the Valentine's day murder?" She begins and waits for him to nod, "For a moment you thought it had been my present. A tricky murder, where nothing makes sense." Kate explains, as she watches Castle's face. He looks so happy.

"Wow!" He breathes out, "You're good!" He closes the distance pressing his soft lips to hers. "I don't deserve you." Castle whispers on her lips as Kate chuckles, leaning in to catch his lips again.

"The party was nice wasn't it?" Kate asks cupping his check, feeling the stubble starting to appear on his jaw line.

"Best birthday party ever. It was my first birthday party in years; sure I celebrated it with Alexis and mother, if she was around, but I can't remember my last party with friends."

"Well I'm glad you had a nice evening."

"I think my last birthday party was before Alexis was born, but it never felt like a party. Paula organized this event and invited everyone, but I felt really lonely because I realized I didn't have any close friends. Everyone congratulated me and some didn't even know why they were there." Kate watches Rick tell his story and starts feeling sorry for him.

When she first read about him on the paper and magazines she'd pictured him as the typical rich, good looking and charming Manhattan guy; when she met him in person she corroborated her thoughts and also started hating him a bit for his childish and arrogant self. But as days went on and they reached a year working together things had changed. He had saved her from a bomb! She started to believe in him and treat him differently; she started _to care._

Then she got shot and the last thing she head was he saying _'I love you, Kate', _and that had kept her alive. This four little words had helped her fight death and stay alive. _For him._

Because she loved him back but she was too afraid to say it, so she kept the secret for a year. A damn year, and at the end, after another death experience she finally had the courage to leave the past behind and start the present and a future with Caste.

"Kate?" Castle's voice brings her back to earth.

"Sorry, what were you saying?"

"That I'm glad you came to me that day almost five years ago." Castle confesses putting a strand of Kate's hair behind her ear, and caressing her cheek in between, "That day is when it all started. I never imagined five years later we would be here. We've solved more than a hundred murders and not only my life has changed but I have too. I look back and sometimes I'm ashamed of myself. You've changed me. You never treated me like Richard Castle, but as a normal person, and I have to thank you for that. I'm a better person now; I'm down to the earth. I have real friends, which I never had…"

"Castle you don't hav-," Kate interrupts him.

"I want to. I need to let it out."

"Okay." Kate replies and listens to Castle break down his walls.

"I never had a dad, and my mom was always out of town, and when I wasn't on tour with her I spent a lot of time alone. I had my imaginary friends because kids at school were mean and laughed at me for any reason. Then I grew up and started writing; after tons of rejections Black Pawn accepted my manuscript and I guess fame changed me, but I was feeling as alone as when I was a kid. But when Alexis arrived I changed again, I stopped going out to be with my daughter,"

"You've done an amazing job rising her Rick." Kate cuts him off.

"I sometimes think I haven't been as good as I should've. I'm scared to let go, I don't think I'm ready for that."

"You are, Castle. Even if Alexis is at a twenty-minute car ride away, you are slowly letting go, and that's good. You can't expect her to be here forever."

"You're right." Rick sighs gently rubbing Kate's hand, "Thank you."

"Anytime, you know that."

"I love you." The words come out fast; he just lets them come out of his mouth so easy and confident. He'd always wanted to say them again, since their fight last year, but he didn't want to scare Kate so he'd waited for the perfect moment, "You're perfect."

Kate's face lights up as soon as she hears the three little – but yet so meaningful- words come out of her boyfriend's mouth.

"You love me?" Kate didn't mean to ask a question but it just came out like this.

Rick panics for a moment and then sighs placing his thumb on Kate's chin to lift her head up, "I love you more than I have ever loved anyone. You're everything a man could ever dream of Kate. You have this smile and your eyes could light up the whole city at nigh-"

Rick gets cut off by Kate's finger against his lips, silencing his as a smile spread across her face.

_The smile._

"_I love you too."_

* * *

**Thoughts?**


End file.
